F.U.D

As I have been on my “journey” I have often reflected on this term “F.U.D” which I learned about some time ago while I was searching up some info on different crypto currency. It stand for Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt. If any of you reading this are trying to lose weight, I think you have probably felt this. I know I have, and do. I bring this up because Kris and I had a conversation the other night about what I have been learning and I made the comment that I wished I learned this stuff 20 years ago, she then said “you weren’t ready”. Hmm. She’s right. I was not ready. What I am doing now I would not emotionally be able to do 20 years ago. This is why “diets” for me failed all the time, I was not ready. What I have really learned about myself is that I was (am) an emotional eater (like most people probably). I had things inside I needed to work out and to help with that I did not turn to drugs like some do, I turned to food, Carb heavy; sugary food! And to be honest I think that was much much worse. I read a study that claims that sugar is 8 times as addictive at cocaine and I believe it. 

So what I have is an addiction problem, not a weight problem. This is where the FUD for me came in. Fear that I am too late (I’m not), Uncertainty about how long it is taking and Doubt that I will actually be successful. I struggle with this daily, but I am getting better. I need to “trust the process”, and I do. The more I research, the more I experiment with what I am learning, the more I can feel what my body is doing and responding too. No longer do I let food control me (all the time, but still on occasion). 

I recently read a blog post called Enjoy The Process For True Satisfaction. I have read it a couple times actually. Here is a snippet …

For a long time, I didn’t take the time to enjoy the day to day architecture of building the person I want to be. I wasted mind space and energy. Daily, I would go through the motions and felt frustrated by the distance of my goals ignoring the progress made and possibilities in front of me.

Even things like self-improvement can make you feel more insecure when looked at the wrong way. The insecurity comes from looking at how far is left to go versus the accomplishments and progress made so far while ignoring any current efforts.

“I’d Rather Be…” Mentality

We spend our entire lives living in the present moment. For some of us, we struggle to keep our mind situated there. Our prognostications of the future and dwellings on the past monopolize our time and attention.

We’ve all seen bumper stickers and home decor items with the message “I’d rather be (fill in the blank).” Whether you fill that blank with fishing, crafting, sleeping, or anything else, the real question is: Why aren’t you doing it?

This article goes on about a few things that resonated with me like this quote
“For too long, I spent much of my life focused on where or what I would rather be instead of what I was doing to get there. Now, I’d rather be here in the now taking time to enjoy whatever it is I am doing.”
I really took me a couple of times reading through this to really click, but it did. It is not the entire post that struck me, but bits and pieces really made sense. Like talking about fearing failure, which I think we all do; but it reminded me of another quote I like from Nelson Mandela “I never lose. I either win or learn. 

So I have not FAILED at losing weight all these years, it just took me a while to learn HOW to lose weight! I AM losing weight and I don’t care how long it take any more. Well I do, but I understand that this was not built in a day or a month or even a year, it was built over many years. It will take some time to correct everything I have done to myself. But I trust the process and I am seeing progress, but most importantly I am FEELING progress. 

So I correct myself when I say, I still have a LONG way to go, to start saying look at how far I have come!